September 11, 2015

Wahala

To think it’s been a year since my last post. i promise i’ll keep it up this time.

New spoken word piece by my alter-ego.

Hope you enjoy!

July 20, 2014

Forget Me Not!

Older generations will tell you,

We grew up in a time when, if something was broken, we fix it; not throw it away!

How I see it is this way: Old folks grew up in a time where things were built to last.

Let’s look at phones for example: you can drop an early model Nokia phone from a second floor window and it’ll leave a dent on the concrete where it made impact with the ground. However, drop an unprotected iPhone from your waist level and the screen shatters into 200 pieces.

I believe this is the same with relationships.

In the ‘Good Old Days,’ individuals invest a huge amount of time getting to know each other, so of course when things begin to go wrong, they try their hardest to fix the relationship that they’ve invested all that time and energy in.

Nowadays you can dig up the whole of some people’s life history online in less than half a day with a little help from social media. In turn, this makes forgetting individuals as easy as the click of a button.

I may be naive but I’m under the impressions that the longer you spend getting to know a person… The harder they become to forget!

As I write this, I’m thinking about a future where individual can surgically remove strands of memory from their brain cells which will make forgetting someone’s existence instantaneous.

This article has been just a thought, but I truly wonder what the future has in store in aid of forgetting the people we don’t like to remember.

 

June 25, 2014

Names!

Are we defined by our names?!

If you name your daughter Ebony, is she destined to be a pornstar?

The average person will, in no doubts, answer to more than one name, but do these names shape our personalities in any way?!… Or do we give ourselves these names so that they reflect who/what we already are (our personality)??

Personally, I think there is a lot behind every name that an individual answer to.

Everyone has multiple names. There is the names given to us by our parents, the names we choose for ourselves, and also the names given to us by others, e.g. peers, lovers etc.

At the time of writing, I answer to three names, all of which have distinct personality traits.

Name 1: Abu
This is the name given to me by my parents. I like it even though people usually draw many assumptions from it, e.g.: my religious beliefs. Some would refer to this as my government name, as it’s the name I’m referred to in anything OFFICIAL.

The personality I tend to have with people who address me as Abu is very different to that of people who address me by my other names. Traits of Abu, includes but aren’t limited to, nervousness, professionalism & lack of authority. People who address me as Abu are usually in higher position than myself, eg: my parents, teachers & lecturers, employers and other member of authorities, hence the trait of nervousness, even if I have noting to be nervous about.

Name 2: Abz
This is the name that I gave to myself, or at least the one that stuck after years of experimenting with nicknames. Trait of Abz, include jokes & innuendos, heightened confidence (verging on cockiness) & extreme creativity. Those who address me as Abz are usually my peers, so I feel confident and open around them as I feel they’d more likely understand my mind’s dynamic. Even if we do have a disagreement, there’s never a feeling of loss of authority around these people. I believe I’m at my most creative when I’m in Abz’ mindset.

Name 3: Black Supahero
I would argue that this is an extreme version of Abz: A mask that completely dissociates Abz from Abu. Black Supahero utilizes on Abz’ confidence and cockiness. As Black Supahero, I could do many of the things that I could only dream of, as Abu and Abz.

Examples:

Abu’s heart race will increase just at the prospect of reading out a paragraph to a class full of his peers

Abz will casually relay a joke to that same class with ease.

Black Supahero will ‘perform’ in front of an audience 10x the size of that class.

A positive aspect about these names is that their personalities start to intertwine as time progresses. Addressed as Abu, I could easily handle the situation masked as Abz, and vice versa.

In conclusion, I believe that the names we associate ourselves with, or are associated with, play a big part in distinguishing our personality traits. I also believe that these names sometimes help us build the traits that we may be trying to distinguish.

Keep reassuring an individual that he’s capable of more than he believes, in time, his beliefs of his capability will change for the better.

May 19, 2014

High Expectations!

I had a friend, female, describe some men as being ‘stingy’ and it made me think…

Is a man oblige to spend HIS money on his woman?!

If a man has money but doesn’t shower his partner with gifts, is this a fair reason for her to break off the relationship?!

In a generation where the gap between sexes are forever tightening, and feminists are doing their best to even the playing field, it astounds me that an individual could muster up such an archaic ideology.

As a man, I believe that it is only right to take care of your woman. However, just because somebody isn’t doing right, does not equate to them doing wrong.

If you’re the type of woman who breaks up with a man because he doesn’t spend enough money on you, I strongly believe that, that man is better off without you. Love/Relationship/Companionship (or whatever you call what you have) should never be for sale. After all, if it can be bought, then it can easily be sold.

I believe a woman should not aspire to be dependent on a man.

As a woman, if you EXPECT a man to buy you things that you can’t afford, in exchange for your love/companionship, then that’s gold-digging bordering on prostitution.

If you earn enough to purchase it, but you think it’s a man’s job/obligation to buy it for you, then that’s greed.

In over 25 years of my journey as a man, I’ve come to a realisation that, individuals who expect a lot from others, show very little appreciation. I’m guessing this is due to their attitude that whatever it is they are expecting, is in fact their right; not a privilege.

I’m a firm believer that

Appreciation is better than expectation!

To cut a long story short:

A woman who doesn’t expect a man ‘take care’ of her, deserves to be taken care of, and vice versa.

 

May 3, 2014

Modern Relationships

So… I recently came to a conclusion that there are three types of modern relationships.

#1: the REALationship:
A relationship that is considered as REAL: this is the type of relationship everybody wish for when they are ready to settle down: the type of relationship where both parties are in it 100%, physically, mentally and emotionally. Individuals in a REALationships are probably ‘in love’ with one another or in the least, have very strong feelings for one another!

Real

#2: the COMPANIONship:
This is the type of relationship that most people are in, whilst looking/waiting for their REALationship. Both parties are happy to share each other’s company as the name suggest. They are not necessarily ‘actively’ searching for, or wanting something better, but they know that something is missing.

On occasions, parties may get so accustomed to one another’s company that deeper/stronger feelings start developing and the COMPANIONship gets upgraded into a REALationship.

However, at other times, one party may develop these feelings for the other and wishes to upgrade the status of their relationship but the feelings aren’t reciprocated. When this is the case, we have ourselves what some may refer to as a ‘situation’ and this leads to the third type of relationship…

it's complicated

#3: the SITUATIONship
This is the relationship where one party actively seeks (or secretly want) more than the other party is willing and/or ready to offer.

Relationship is effort: I WILL match your work

In a REALationship and COMPANIONship, both parties generally put in as much effort into building and/or maintaining the relationship as their counterpart.

Do you know what category your relationship falls in?

In a world where polygamy is increasingly becoming the norm, attempting to force a REALationship with somebody who’s only interested in a COMPANIONship will only leave you the victim of a SITUATIONship.

April 16, 2014

If love was…

iamincblog

if love was only a word, I would erase it from the dictionary and abolish it from the world

simply deny any pepetrator freedom of speech, so the captive hearts can be left to be free

if love was only a word, I would tape the mouths of those who claim its name so we could all see this feeling we label great is lame

if love was only a word, I would cross it off the gust list and refuse entry

open the doors to the refugees who lost their homes fighting for their souls

if love was only a word, it would not exist, I would simply deny any acknowledgement of it

but since love isn’t just a word, I am forced to embrace it

as my obligations of being cupid’s enemy would not be mandatory

if love did not exist.

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